Mama in France

It is hard to imagine that two people with such vastly different backgrounds could ever be married to one another, but that is precisely what happened. A Clydesdale yoked together with a thoroughbred, is a more fitting picture than Mama and Papa as husband and wife. The differences between them were numerous.

Whereas Papa was born and raised under very harsh conditions in Munich, Germany, Mama was born in Paris, France with the proverbial silver spoon, not only in her mouth, but as a companion to her for most of her youth.

Papa’s parents were divorced early in his life, and since he was to be with his father, and since his father was a baker spending long hours working , Papa spent much of his time on the streets. Mama, on the other hand, had both of her parents with her. Her father was a doctor, and though he spent many hours with his practice, Her mother was right there for her.

The stark differences between Mama and Papa can go on and on, but I am sure that you can understand, there was little that they had in common. With that in mind, I will attempt to relate Mama’s life story and let you in on the circumstances that brought them to such an unlikely union.

Mama was born in Paris, France on Sept. 18, 1913. She was the youngest of four children the closest being Kaye, her brother, who was two years older. When she was six the two of them were sent to a boarding school by the seashore in France.

I guess the fact that both Mama and Papa were sent to boarding school, one could presume that their lives at that time were similar, but in all actuality, the similarities ended there. Their lives, in their respective boarding schools were very different. True, both schools were Catholic, and the teachers were very strict, but the atmosphere, the food, and even the gender of the teachers (Mama’s school had nuns while Papa’s had priests) made their respective experiences very different. Mama, also had Kaye for support when she needed him, and even had occasional visits from her father, which I am sure, made Mama’s life in the boarding school, more bearable, albeit lonely, compared to what Papa had to endure.

Mama was at the boarding school for only two years, but she said that she was very homesick and always looked forward to being home again with her mother and father. Happily, after those couple of years away, Mama did not have to return to the boarding school.

At about ten years of age Mama and her family moved to Cannes, France. My grandfather found out that he had a heart problem and felt that a change of climate would be of benefit for it. Mama tells about the mansion, three stories with many rooms. The third floor alone had eleven rooms. Mama said that it was perfect for playing “hide and seek”. It was there in Cannes that Mama excelled in school. So much so that she was moved up from grade to grade. In the end she was at least a head shorter than anyone else. Her class-mates nick-named her “bouchon” which means “cork.”

It was about this time that my grand-parents moved into a smaller house called the “Villa Serpolette” (I visited the “Villa Serpolette” with my German Grandfather and my uncle. The villa was located on the French Riviera about 50 or so yards from the beach). It was also at this time when Mama’s father started playing tennis with the entire family. He played, he said, “for reasons of his health“, but mainly because he envisioned Mama becoming an accomplished player, as was he. (I found out this past September that my grandfather, Archibald Adam Warden, was a bronze medalist, in Tennis, at the 1900 Olympics in Paris). During Mama’s early teen years they would travel every week to play in tennis tournaments, they toured all over Switzerland, and even Scotland, each week in a different town staying at luxurious hotels.

Then came the great depression! It hit Europe just as it hit America. Consequently, my grandfather, as did most other people, lost all of his money in the stock market. Mama said that they had to do without the maid, cook, and chauffer. But, in spite of having to live the “simple” life, my grandfather was still a very successful doctor. In fact, most of his patients were very rich and very famous. Among the patients that he treated were Eleanor Roosevelt, J.P.Morgan, Donald Campbell, Admiral Byrd et al.

Mama was very unsettled and was not at all satisfied with the way her life was going. So when she was eighteen she went to Germany to live with a Jewish family in order to learn German. Why, I do not know. But they helped Mama learn German while she taught their two girls to speak English and French. Then, at nineteen, she asked my grandfather to let her have 1,000 Francs along with permission to go to Paris to find a job. Her father was not too happy to let her go, but in the end he said alright. Grandfather arranged for her to ride in a Rolls Royce that belonged to the Pasha of Marakesh (prince of Morocco), who was also his patient. In Paris, she found a job as personal secretary to Rudyard Kipling’s wife. She also taught children to read. However, once again, she found herself unfulfilled, and again returned to Cannes. Mama had a difficult time finding out what direction she wanted her life to go. Then at 21 years of age, she thought that she wanted to be a nurse. Again, my grandfather was not happy with Mama’s desire to become a nurse, but again, he allowed her to try.
　
Mama went to London where arrangements had been made for her to stay with her mother’s cousin, Sir Henry Souttar. Sir Henry Sessions Souttar, was a very prominent physician in England, and the first surgeon to perform a successful open heart surgery. He did a heart valve operation on a young girl, which made it possible for the girl to live many years. It was not until 1948, 23 years later, that a similar operation was attempted. Dr. Souttar invented numerous surgical tools that are still being used today! In fact, medical students are still studying the heart valve surgery techniques that he performed. He was knighted for his surgical tool inventions.

(Just a side note: George and I were given our wedding reception at Dr Souttar’s home in London in 1964.)

Mama’s venture into nursing ended as all her other pursuits, being frustrated and unfulfilled. Actually, she felt that there had to be something more than the life of luxury that she had been living. Thus she found herself being drawn to more spiritual pursuits. In Paris, she was attracted to various religious groups, but it was a pamphlet she found that drew her to the place she would spend the rest of her life.

The article was about a community of Christians in England. In fact, from the explanation of the Bruderhof, and the pictures that accompanied it, it seemed like the answer to all the questions that had plagued her for so many years. Perhaps she would find some sense of accomplishment that all her other pursuits had been devoid of. And, not only could it be a good place for her, but could also be good for her brother as well. Her parents agreed. So it was that Mama and Uncle Kaye embarked on the journey to the Cotswold’s in England. Kaye’s visit was just that, a visit. He soon left England and returned to France. Mama, on the other hand had found what she had been looking for, and never returned home.

In the Bruderhof, the people wore the clothes that Hutterites (similar to the Amish)wore. Very conservative and very uniform in style. So, Mama packed all her clothes and sent them, along with trunks full of party dresses and other possessions, to her sister Charlotte, who, of course, expected Mama’s arrival at any moment. But, alas, she never came. Mama had forsaken all her earthly possessions , and gave up being able to see her family again, to join the Bruderhof.